What To Do With Christmas?

Someday I need to write a real post. You know, the kind that actually is informative....
I actually do have some pretty decent thoughts and paragraphs tumbling around....perhaps soon I can make the time to put them on paper...or at least post them here. It just feels like I'm constantly two steps behind everyone and everything else. I feel perpetually behind, and seeing as I detest being late....it's rather annoying.

Everyone has been pretty stressed out of late, a lot is going on even though lawn and landscaping is slowing down. Work slowing down outside only seems to stress everyone else out. Just because things are slacking in that department doesn't mean I'm not busy...I'm just as busy now, and a little more so than I was in the summer. I have a ton to get done in preparation for next season. Of course though that doesn't exactly pay the bills for the next three months.

For a few days I was really getting into the whole Christmas thing. Listening to Christmas music, thinking about decorating. A couple weeks and countless 'holiday' commitments later and I'm over it. I'm really over the "Mary Did You Know" song, it's always been source of irritation. It's a pretty tune, a nice melody but I find it to be flawed theologically (yes, folks Mary did know) ...hence my irritation that it's pretty much "the" song of every Christian holiday event. I think downhere's "How Many Kings" would be a much better choice....it actually has the potential to make people think. Anyway what's with this present thing? I love giving gifts, I do it all year round. I especially enjoy when I find a gift that's perfect for someone and it's something they aren't expecting. I love giving things to people, it's awesome. I guess I'm just being stubborn, in the fact that I don't want to give someone something that I haven't put my heart into. I mean really, why do people seem to think that inviting someone to a party that they've fought with all year long, will suddenly erase all that? The "oh, it's Christmas" mentality as if that should make everything all right....I find it shocking. I'm not fighting with anyone, I just used that as a rather poor example.
I should say much though, I don't really have a social life so it's not like I have the delimma of choosing which things to go to. I don't go to anything, so at least I don't have to worry about hurting someone's feelings by not showing up.

I am making some headway in terms of hammering out a plan. Nope, still haven't sent those year overdue letters to my former supporters yet. Shocked by my Procrastination? I'm not...I procrastinate when I'm afraid of something....in this sense primarily I'm afraid to write them. I feel like I failed them, it's hard to wrap my mind around how to say what I'd like to say. I'd like to share what God is doing, I'm just too chicken to do it. And this is what I talk about with my counselor. Lot of good it seems to do if I still haven't written, eh?

Maybe if I made my own Christmas card and said "Please Don't Reject Me" on the outside and "I really do have a plan" on in the inside. That would help, right? I mean that's being totally honest. That's why I haven't written. It's like trying write a normal sounding letter, when all I really want to say is that. You try writing without saying what you really want to say....and let me know how it goes....I'll hire you to write my letter.

Why is this an issue? Oh, who knows. Why do people have "issues" anyway? Technically I think its all in my head, but that certainly doesn't make it seem any less real or valid.

So, in my broken little mind I'm viewing Christmas with a kind of perplexity.....ignore it or enjoy it?
In reality it isn't about all the stuff, the music, the socializing, commitments to fulfill etc. It's about Jesus. Thank God. Because that's a much more enjoyable prospect. Regardless of how much changes in my life or in the lives of those I love, He never changes.

When thinking about what to do with Christmas; I'm going to focus on spending time with Jesus. Celebrate His love and enjoy being loved unconditionally, because that is the rarest gift of all.