The End of 'The Journey'

Changes will be coming, soon I hope, to this blog. I have not decided if I'll keep this url or change it. More likely I'll use it, just change things around. But we'll see. That depends on how much 'free' time I end up with in the coming days....

I've decided a change needs to be made to reflect where I am and what life is about now....this theme of being on a journey fit for a long time....and while I'm still on a journey and I like to be reminded that it really is the journey rather than the destination (as we're so often told) that matters....I've changed a lot since this blog and my newsletters started. Just as I have changed, so has my life.

It's a new season. And finally, I'm confident and excited about the changes that lay ahead. I hope to share them with you.

More coming soon.

Win a Wii !!

Over at Christian Personal Finance - there's a great give away going on!
You can twitter to win an iPod and/or blog about the give- away to win a wii (like I am here :-)

Check it out!
http://www.christianpf.com/wii/

Good luck!

Now...I'm heading back to work...

Today, this is how I feel

My Day

It all started when I first woke up to the sound of my pager going off. It went off five times in the space of an hour. Apparently this was the morning for everyone to freak about 'swine' flue and rather than drive themselves to the doctor, they called me in to do it for them. Paramedics are not taxi drivers...please don't treat us as such. And by the way....I wear gloves, masks and safety glasses for my protection, not yours. So if it makes you nervous and you ask me to take them off....please don't get offended when I refuse- and no, crying will not help- perhaps consider if you're sick enough to require Emergency Medical Services...as those who sincerely need us....don't give a crap what we look like.

Then when I finally got to the office (YB) all craziness was happening. I hate days like this when the weather is all screwed up...because it takes these guys FOREVER to get themselves sorted out. Some people show up for work, some don't and then get mad and I'm the one left to pick up the pieces of a shattered schedule. So we finally got everyone, well, most everyone, going in the right direction.

Enter Chaos: I ended up having some rather serious employee issues to handle. Two of which were team leaders who weren't, well, leading. Acting like 2 year olds is more like it. So in the course of dealing with them, one quit...not a surprise but still trying. I hate it when grown men act like small, spoiled children.

Business has been really tense recently anyway. The reason? Money and People...the two things it always seems to come down to. For starters we are busier than we have ever been. We have tons of invoices out there needing paid, lots of new ones coming in...in short we have no shortage of work. Our cash flow though sucks. One reason for this is that while job volume has increased, not all of our prices have. Which makes it tough since we've jumped from employing 15 to 30 in one season. So we've adjusted some of our prices and we are making cut backs to try and make it easier on us. Still, things are super tight. And the fact that some of these guys have this sense of entitlement ....they demand things rather than give us a chance to recognize their effort...something that doesn't go over well at all. We love to give our employees perks...but demanding it? Not so much.

And since when is it the employee's job to tell the Employer (that would be me) how to run the business? I'm the one who doesn't get paid, I'm the one paying them and all the bills, It's my freaking name on the door. I think that means I get to call the shots folks.... and if and when I want or need you to tell me how to do my job, I'll let you know. Thanks.

And it's only Wednesday.

On a brighter note, I had a really nice conversation with someone in the midst of all this craziness. It was great timing.




All Graphics Courtesy of Ennokni - "Daily Life"

My Absence

I've kind of neglected writing. No real excuse...just laziness.

My EMT shifts have been super boring and it's starting to feel like a waste of time. I know that sounds really bad to say that I wish people would get hurt/sick more....and I know that being there is important....still...because this is something I volunteer for it's not like I'm getting paid to sit and wait for the phone to ring...so I'm considering transferring to Wishard where at least I could work in the ER if I wasn't needed on a crew. So we'll see.

My other job, as a shareholder and employee in the family business has been chaos. In a good way. God has done a lot in my family over the last few months and even more in the business. It's been totally amazing. I know there's a 'recession' going on...but it's not hitting our market and we praise God for it! Business is going well, and our new product line is selling well. We are on our way to meeting our seasonal goal already.
This weekend is the Home & Garden show we are sponsoring so everything is a bit crazy with all the normal work plus this added stuff. And then rain on top of it all...so this will most probably be my only post this week.

School isn't happening....I had thought I would take some classes this summer but there just is no way I could manage a course load effectively and work 40+ hours a week. So I'm going to work this summer on evaluating my fall work hours and planning for school then.

The good news is that even with several set backs financially I'm still on target for saving for my trip to see my best friend Jody who lives in St. Lucia. I'm so excited. I miss that girl heaps! We were roomates in college and worked together in South Africa for several years. So we had lots of time in which to develop a really close bond.
Being away from all my friends is what has sucked the most about being stuck in Indiana. All my friends are either overseas or on the West Coast. I'm the only one out this way. It really is depressing.

There have been a lot of random thoughts and ground work is being laid for future decisions like ministry and school etc. But I don't feel that anything resolute has been decided. As the picture states...people aren't perfect and I'm still working through some crap. But thankfully I'm getting pretty good at just ignoring it all....although I think some might call that denial. At this point, I just really don't care. For the most part I'm still just putting one foot in front of the other and trusting God to see me through each day. For the most part, I do good to handle that. So as far as forward thinking...not so much....but a bit more than before. So I count that progress ....very minimal...but progress nevertheless.

So, I'm off to the gym, then home where I plan to work on some paperwork I'm taking with me and watch the NCIS episode from last week that I missed. Enthralling I know ;-)

Overwhelmed..........in a good way...I think.

snowed under

I will be writing a post soon...ish. Just as soon as I shovel my way out from under all the work I've got going on. Or at least work it down to a manageable pile!

Sometimes All We Need is A Little ...Encouragement??

So I've spent the last half hour killing time and this is what I found.....

Friday Night Thoughts

It has been an exceptionally busy week. We're 'summertime busy' in the office and we've still a week before the first official day of Spring. I'm not complaining, exactly, busy is good, very good. At the same time, I'm feeling the crunch. So many things to get done, so little time to do it in.
So it's a toss up...do I work tomorrow or do I rest. I'd really rather rest. But I will probably work for a few hours.
I have really neglected my personal life the last few weeks due to all the chaos at work. One of the things I've found has been impacted has been my ability to exercise my spiritual will over my physical. It's easier to worry that stand in faith. Easier to be angry than to forgive. So this weekend will be have a more spiritual focus than some. I need that time to think, meditate, read, write...time to just be. I'm going to focus on this truth: " In quietness and trust is your strength" (Isa. 30:15)
What do you plan on doing this weekend?

Saddleback Worship Conference Giveaway

This is a contest held over at pinkhairedgirl.net go there to participate!

Saddleback Worship Conference Giveaway

This is totally turning into the free stuff blog over the last week. I promise real posts are coming soon. But this is a BIG giveaway.

Today, I am giving away ONE TICKET to Saddleback Worship Conference, June 24-26. Not only that, but this ticket includes admission to the Pre-Conference on June 23.

Seriously, this is a $350 value… yours for free if you’re the winner!!
All you’ll need to do is get yourself there.

LEARN…
From world leaders in the Worship Arts arena and from Saddleback’s own staff…

EXPERIENCE…
Great Worship Times, Concerts, Devotionals, Late-Night Events, Exhibitors & more…!

PARTICIPATE…
Perform on a Daystage, sing in the Conference Choir, or Submit your own songs, scripts and videos to SongSeeker, DramaSeeker, and our all new SermonSpice Video Competition!

PLUS
Many many many workshops to choose from. One of which led by Carlos Whittaker (and maybe me too) on all things Web 2.0.

Leave a comment below by 11pm (CST) and you’re entered to win. The winner will chosen using Random.org and will be announced at MIDNIGHT (CST). And tell your friends to really make the contest interesting.

Spring

I love Spring. I love everything about it: the cool, crisp air, warm sun, birds singing, flowers growing. Over the last few years I haven't gotten to enjoy Spring much...the places I've lived in really only have two seasons...wet (hot) and dry (really hot). Except for the frigid 9 months I lived in Canada....where I nearly froze to death.

I like this middle ground, between winter and summer. I find it incredibly soothing.

Saturday I went hiking in a nearby state park. Apparently a lot of other people had the same idea because even the rugged trail I was on, was crowded. Not exactly great for taking great pictures or thinking, but it was still nice to be outside.

Even though the economy is still tanking, hope is soaring at work. Both of my jobs are doing well. Grass always grows and people are always getting sick/hurt so I'm fairly certain my jobs will be around for awhile. Nevertheless it's been awesome to see God at work, especially in the family business. The phone has been ringing off the hook and we've not had a shortage of opportunities to give bids. I could credit that to the time I've spent marketing...but I know better :-) I know God's the one who provides what we need, exactly when we need it.

A headline I read this morning said "Obama: 'don't fear future'". It'd be easy to fear the future...just look at the headlines. It's all wars and tragedy. But I was reminded this morning of Joshua 1:9 which says "Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (AMP)

I thought this morning about who my hope is placed in...men who fail and are often wrong or God who is always right (and right on time)?

Who are you trusting in?

Friday Morning

I know the time stamp is off, it's still set to African time, I just haven't had the time to change it. So this really is Friday morning :-)

I am hopeful that this weekend is restful. I know I keep saying this, but I've been really busy. So even though I should spend a little extra time working, I'm going to make time to do some things I've been putting. Nothing screams "pleasure" to me more than a comfy chair, a great book and peace and quiet. I also may poke around the Library. I am actually all 'out' of books. A rare thing for me as you know.

Starting off this Friday morning I'm pondering the incredible steadfastness of God. I've had a really great week spiritually. No real insight just reminders of His amazing love. Little things like realizing I haven't made one trip to the hospital in the last three months. For the first time in years I've been able to run and walk fast without passing out. I haven't been sick at all actually. It's an awesome feeling, health. One I highly doubt I ever take for granted.
Further confirmation that I'm in the right place, doing what I need to be doing, and giving myself the rest I need.

One thing I continue to look forward to is my upcoming trip to St. Lucia. I had an email from my friend this morning and we are busy making plans. It will be so good to see her again!

There's a quote that really spoke to me this week. It's from Withering Heights but it had a bit more of a spiritual implication for me.

"If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn't love you as much as I do in a single day."

When I first read it, I was struck that this is true about God's love versus human love. Being single, there's always that topic of "when will Andrea find a nice young man" hovering around family get togethers and functions. This quote reminded me that regardless of when the eventual "nice young man" turns up, and regardless of how great he might be...his love or anyone's love for me will never be able to match or surpass God's love for me.

So there you have it...my rambling thoughts early in the morning :-)

Great Clip-Free Music: Kingdom Coming

If you have a minute (or 6.45 to be exact) I'd like to encourage you to watch this clip from Shaun Groves. He's speaking on a song he wrote recently called "Kingdom Coming". It's a great little clip, perfect to ponder while you're waiting for NCIS to come on tonight :-)
You can download a free (and legal, which makes it even better!) mp3 copy of Shaun's song by clicking here.
So,Check out this little video where he speaks on the Good News taught by Jesus in the first chapter of the gospel of Mark. And then download the song “Kingdom Coming”

Kingdom Coming from Shaun Groves on Vimeo.

Faith, Friends and Thankfulness

For the last several months I have had the honor of leading a ladies Bible study on the topic of faith. I have had a kind of love/hate relationship with the study simply because of where I've been at personally. For much of this time I have been doing my 'duty'. Always well though out, prepared ect. but not exactly putting my heart into it.
There are reasons for that...but I'm not going to go into those reasons too much. I'm tired of rehashing issues.

I will say though that the last few days have brought some sense of breakthrough. After nearly two years of pain and a very, very long road of recovery faith is becoming, once again a source of joy rather than something I'm clinging to because I know it's true.
Cleaning out my inbox brought this little revelation about. I was going through old emails, trying organize and delete what was no longer needed. I came across many emails from friends who were encouraging me, sharing with me, "doing life" with me even though we were thousands of miles apart. Their emails ministered to me then....but made a huge difference this weekend.

Insecurity and fear will always be a weak point of mine. But thankfully, I am finally seeing light at the end of the dark tunnel of grief, anger, shame, fear, doubt, bitterness etc. I've been going through. I finally feel like I'm ready to move on. Not because of anything I am, or know or can do. But because of who Christ is. He loves me wholly, believes in me unconditionally and his plans for me are faultless. I choose to believe in the eternal security of Christ than any promise made by a man.

I don't know what my future holds. I don't know how grad school will work out or what I'll eventually end up doing or when I'll go back into ministry/missions full time. At this point I can't really tell you anything except that I am finally at rest and beginning to look forward to what will be and ready to move on from what was.

Psalm 33:18-19 Behold the Lord's eye is upon those who fear Him (who revere and worship Him with awe), who wait for Him and hope in His mercy and loving kindness. To deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

Thank you, my dear friends, for standing beside me. For continuing to believe in me, even when I'd given up on myself. For not allowing me to wiggle away from truth. Thank you for loving me, even when I haven't deserved your friendship.
For Sarah, James, Jody, Anna, Thabiso, Johan, Krista, Bethany I. and so many others who've been the truest kinds of friends I am so thankful for you! I look forward to sharing this journey with you in the days ahead.

Love,
Andrea

On a Wednesday night....

As a Mac Lover....it may seem odd to have Bill Gates on my blog. While I may prefer not to use his computers...I agree with his opinions.

Besides that- Wicked long EMT shift today. Most interesting call was a guy with shrapnel in his eye. I'm too tired to write tonight.

So without further ado......
Life Rules by Bill Gates
Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time..

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Thoughts on a Monday...

Well, another week begun. I must say I’m rather excited. Not because anything with work or school has changed, just because I’ve made some decisions…finally. I still have quite a few things still to work through but I am comforted by the fact that I know God hasn’t given up on me yet. I know He is good and He is faithful and nothing, not circumstances or the failures, successes or opinions of men can in anyway, impact his love or plans for me. I trust that knowledge far more than I trust anything else. Because His faithfulness and his blessing in my life isn’t dependant upon me! (Thank God!) It’s totally dependant upon His character and His faithfulness to follow thru on promises he has made. The Lord’s word is a silver refined in fire seven times…meaning, it never, ever fails.

I have decided to follow Jesus, as the hymn goes, no turning back.

There are loads of things I don’t get. But I’m okay with only seeing part of the picture. I don’t know where or when or how any of my heart’s desires for things like marriage, family and ministry will come about but I know that when I seek and pursue Christ above material and worldy things (or even just doing what I know is right rather than what I ‘feel’ is right…) He will satisfy my desires with good things. And that makes me excited.

End of A Long Week...

Well, it's the end of a very long week. And I'd much rather be here ---->
I did get a fair amount done at work today, even with all the interruptions, which was nice.
I am read for the weekend though! I really need to get my life in order....I'm tired of not existing outside of work. I'd like to develop a social life here and maybe even put down some roots. To that end I had planned on attending a knitting/sewing session from 9pm-11pm at The Living Room. But Nighttime really isn't my thing so I doubt I actually make it. Which is sad. If it were at any other time, I'd go and really enjoy the outlet.

Instead I'm heading to the gym and then home where I'll probably have cereal for dinner, shower and crash with a book.
I have to work Saturday and Sunday is a birthday dinner for my grandmother so family will take the bulk of Sunday.
I am looking forward to the gym, it'll be good to work out my frustrations :-)

Sometimes....

there are days. like today that totally suck. These days usually occur because of things far beyond my realm of control. Like today. It really sucked to see someone I cared about make such horrible mistakes born out of fear, stubbornness, immature and complete arrogance. Honestly, I love this person very much...but they can really be a complete nightmare. Do they honestly not realize what they're doing or the cost that will come with their attitude?

On these days my typical response, once it's all over and I've called it a day, I hit the gym as usual, followed by a decent meal (not always usual...it depends on who's cooking...lol!) and a really hot shower. I love showers. They are awesome. Having lived for several years without them (not that I didn't bathe .... I just didn't have access to a real, proper shower) I will never, ever neglect to be thankful for such bliss. It never fails to make me feel happy.

So, I'm crawling into bed for a good read and hopefully tomorrow will put us all on the road to healing the wounds from today.

*sigh* it's shame that people are so stupid. They give the rest of us a bad name.

Because Money Does Not Grow on Trees....

And we all wish it did: I'm going to share with you what I use to save and track my money.

Over the years I have used a lot of different products and even created my own systems. I have often needed some rather complex solutions that could cope with multiple currencies and exchange rates. At times my spread sheets were pretty hard to read. And then, I fell in love with two solutions that have helped me...no matter where in the world I may be.

For saving I use a program called SmartyPig. It's simple, which is important when I'm using unreliable internet connections overseas. It's also automatic, which is great. It takes some of the 'labor' out of transferring money from my checking accounts to savings. I find this feature invaluable. It helps me to keep on track and reduces my use of sticky notes. What I really like about SmartyPig is the 3.25% AYP. This is the highest AYP I've been able to find for savings programs that are not directly linked to investing. Unlike Money Markets or CDs, I'm not investing in the Stock Market or tied to a contract. If at any point and time I really need the money I've been socking away, I can end the goal and have the money transferred right back to my checking account...and take with me the interest I may have earned thus far. Or I can opt to have the money loaded onto a debt card and mailed to me. Another unique feature is SmartyPig's partnership with many brand name retailers. If you choose to spend your saved money with them with gives you certain perks and in some cases, extra money. And extra money is always a good thing!

For traking my expenses I use Mint.com A lovely little tool that takes takes a lot of time out of tracking expenses. Unlike some similar programs, Mint is totally free. You log in your bank details and it will automatically track, graph and report to you how much you spend and where you spend it. You can set up budgets, track investments...the tools keep growing. The only detractor is that you can't enter expenses paid for with cash. Which, for me is fine for the most part. I normally use my debit card or checks anyway. I carry small amounts of cash, but I keep track of where those go in my check register.
Anyway if you're looking for away to avoid keeping track of every single reciept - Mint is a great tool. I've really loved the budget feature and the emails Mint sends out if I go over my set limit for a particular catagory (books are my downfall!). I also really like the carts that show a breakdown of where my money goes. I can compare my expenses month to month and also to the national average.

So there you go! Andrea's finances in two paragraphs. Having lived by faith for many years, I still find those principles of trusting God to provide for and meet my needs relevant...even now that I get a regular paycheck. He's just as capable as providing for me now as in years previous when I was on the mission field. But the theology of all that is for another post.

Now if only there was a way to effortlessly generate more income...wouldn't that be great! :-)

TAXing Day

<--This is what my desk looks like....I’ve spent the last 10 hours compiling, editing, recalculating, printing…reprinting and filing tax forms for the business. If I have to figure out how to get one more ‘x’ into a pre-printed form..I am going to cry…and then demand a raise.

Thank God my taxes are fairly simple and straight forward!

While I’m off to go to yoga and hopefully relax my incredibly stiff neck and spend the rest of the night not staring at a computer screen…I thought I’d leave you with some links.

Surprisingly there’s some good stuff floating around the web today ☺

If you’re married, or even if you’re not, LifeChurch.tv has a great series going on called The Vow, it’s all about drawing closer to God and closer to each other.
You can find more about it here www.internet.lifechurch.tv

Christian Personal Finance, a blog on finance and wealth management from a Christian perspective has as list of The Top 20 Christian Financial Websites I think you’ll find helpful.

And last but certainly not least is today’s post, Getting Single People Married as Fast as Possible, on the blog Stuff Christian’s Like. It cracked me up this morning, Jon Acuff, owner and writer for this blog consistantly turns out great stuff so poke around and have a laugh ☺

Uncertain Pathways

Sometimes life seems to get really complicated. It reminds me of when I took this photo. We hiked all day long in the fog and there were times when there was no path at all, it felt like we were just going around and around and higher and higher with no real point to any of it. Until we hit this clearing. It was the most amazing view. The fog had lifted and I could see a little better. Suddenly my attitude toward my guide changed…he actually did have plan!

That’s kind of how I feel my life has been recently. It’s hard to get perspective and see the ‘big picture’ that is our Journey. But every once in awhile we have moments of clariety where we can look back and see where we’ve come from and look forward to where we are headed and know that our present position…regardless of how difficult, is worthwhile.

Sometimes we have to wait longer than others…but clearings do come.
When I took this picture my initial thought was “crap! Look at how far we still have to go!” As I was reminded today though, the journey, the process is just as important as the momentary times of clarity and understanding that come.

I still don’t know where I’m going, or what’s coming in a month from now let alone years from now. When I get bored of the process I’m in right now (school and work) this picture reminds me that my Guide does have a plan. He knows where I’m going and eventually I will too. Until then, in the midst of this seemingly endless fog and the apparently pointless circles, I choose to trust.

My Stress

It's Thursday. It feels like it should be Friday...of next week. That's how long this week has been. Thank God, it's nearly over!!

The main source of difficulty has been serious employee issues with a supervisor. It's put a ton of stress and strain on all the other owners as well. We really wanted this guy to succeed but he's intent on self-destructing. It's sad because we've poured a lot of time, effort and money into training him. And now he's basically just throwing it all back in our face.

So the issues, problems and various methods of approaching the situation have been discussed multiple times in various mental states and attitudes.

Then we've got a heap of work going on, my to do list is ever expanding and I know everyone else is having the same problem. Spring is coming and we still aren't ready. I'm not sure where this supposed 'off season' went to but I wish it would come back and give us a few more weeks!

For now I'm going to shut down for the day, hit the gym, watch a movie and hope for better perspective tomorrow, it will be Friday after all!

My Mac

Thinking I was being a good Mac owner I did some maintenance last night and now everything seems buggered. What I did wrong, I'm not sure. But some files open and some won't. Some programs work and some don't. It was an epic Fail, to be sure. However, there is hope. I called Donna and she's coming tomorrow morning to fix me :-) Thank God for people who know more than I do! Hopefully I can learn something tomorrow morning!

In the mean time I am limping through a very busy work day at the YB Office with substandard computer capability. *Sigh*

Things at YB are really busy! Between all the marketing stuff going on, all the bidding for new work in 2009, getting the new accounting system rolling, recovering from the loss of all our 2008 payroll data (GRRRR) and in general trying to get HR, Marketing and Accounting organized, planned out and ready to roll for summer. I'm busy...

So nothing really has happened with my bridging coursework, my knitting project remains unfinished, my violin still needs new strings. My eyesight still sucks because I keep delaying the office visit. And I still have phone calls and letters to write to friends.

Then there's the new years resolution of getting out and meeting new people and making new friends here in my new 'home' town. yeah hasn't really happened yet either.

And this is the 'off season'?