Faith, Friends and Thankfulness

For the last several months I have had the honor of leading a ladies Bible study on the topic of faith. I have had a kind of love/hate relationship with the study simply because of where I've been at personally. For much of this time I have been doing my 'duty'. Always well though out, prepared ect. but not exactly putting my heart into it.
There are reasons for that...but I'm not going to go into those reasons too much. I'm tired of rehashing issues.

I will say though that the last few days have brought some sense of breakthrough. After nearly two years of pain and a very, very long road of recovery faith is becoming, once again a source of joy rather than something I'm clinging to because I know it's true.
Cleaning out my inbox brought this little revelation about. I was going through old emails, trying organize and delete what was no longer needed. I came across many emails from friends who were encouraging me, sharing with me, "doing life" with me even though we were thousands of miles apart. Their emails ministered to me then....but made a huge difference this weekend.

Insecurity and fear will always be a weak point of mine. But thankfully, I am finally seeing light at the end of the dark tunnel of grief, anger, shame, fear, doubt, bitterness etc. I've been going through. I finally feel like I'm ready to move on. Not because of anything I am, or know or can do. But because of who Christ is. He loves me wholly, believes in me unconditionally and his plans for me are faultless. I choose to believe in the eternal security of Christ than any promise made by a man.

I don't know what my future holds. I don't know how grad school will work out or what I'll eventually end up doing or when I'll go back into ministry/missions full time. At this point I can't really tell you anything except that I am finally at rest and beginning to look forward to what will be and ready to move on from what was.

Psalm 33:18-19 Behold the Lord's eye is upon those who fear Him (who revere and worship Him with awe), who wait for Him and hope in His mercy and loving kindness. To deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

Thank you, my dear friends, for standing beside me. For continuing to believe in me, even when I'd given up on myself. For not allowing me to wiggle away from truth. Thank you for loving me, even when I haven't deserved your friendship.
For Sarah, James, Jody, Anna, Thabiso, Johan, Krista, Bethany I. and so many others who've been the truest kinds of friends I am so thankful for you! I look forward to sharing this journey with you in the days ahead.

Love,
Andrea